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illusionismine
13 February 2017 @ 03:09 pm
 This past week was exhausting.  Yesterday my family had a get together for my grandmother's birthday.  Her birthday was actually Saturday, and I called her and told her happy birthday.  She pretty happy that I called her.  My work week was exhausting, and one of our people was on vacation so we had a ton of work.  There is still that strange girl at work, but it seems she's finally getting the hint and starting to leave me alone.  A lot of times I feel like I'm misunderstood because I don't fit anyone's stereotype of what they think I should be.  I guess I'm in my own head too much.  Ah well. 

When I came home, and my family was all gathered at my house I felt a bit more exhausted.  I was overall tired from work so I just went straight to my room after speaking to everyone.  When my grandma came I spoke, and retreated back to my room to play video games.  I ended up playing Resident Evil 4 for a few hours, and then a bit of Uncharted 4 for a while.  My niece came and watched me play for a bit, and concluded that I wasn't going to win because I kept dying...lol.  

Resident Evil 4 is really creepy I have to say.  Also those zombies in that game are really smart, and always think of ways to out smart me it seems xD!  

On a side note I have been practicing guitar a bit more lately.  These are the songs I'm currently learning/working on right now.  Most of these I have really worked on, and have got the majority of the song down.  I still need to practice a bit on the rhythm for the Bauhaus song, but I think I have a good grasp of how to play it.  I really love playing that Cure song once I got it.  It's one of my favorite tracks from that album, and it's enjoyable to play. :)

Title Fight - Dizzy
Bauhaus - All We Ever Wanted Was Everything (acoustic)
Balance and Composure - Quake
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Painted Bird
Title Fight - Murder Your Memory
The Cure - A Forest

Here's a picture of my guitar by the way.  I wasn't sure if I posted it here, but there ya go. :D

As for other music stuff  how awesome was Bruno Mar's cover of Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" last night at the grammys?  He really nailed it.  <3

 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Title Fight- Murder Your Memory
 
 
illusionismine
25 January 2017 @ 10:32 am
 Yesterday I had to go to Jury Duty because I'd gotten a summons earlier in the month.  Most people (including myself), really hate serving on a jury here, but people acknowledge that it's a good thing to have a jury of your peers.  I was really anxious that I would get picked, and had been dreading it for a while.  So when I got there they had everyone sit in a massive sized jury room, and we waited...and waited, and waited.  My god the waiting was probably the worst part.  I sat next o some old guy who kept acting like he didn't want me to touch him for some reason, and another lady.  I'm used to older white people here being bigots so that didn't phase me one bit.  I took out my phone, and opened my NES emulator app and started playing Legend of Zelda to distract myself.  

After away they picked people for the first few trials, and then we were told we were "taking a break until 10:30", much to the dismay of everyone there.  I got up and went to the restroom, and came back.  I made sure to sit somewhere else where I wouldn't have to sit next to anyone cause (people = nope), and continued playing Zelda.  Eventually a really nice lady came and sat next to me, and asked me if I'd done this before.  I told her I had, and that I'd served on a civil trial for 3 days.  She told me she'd served on a trial for 5 days, and that she'd gotten used to the whole jury process at this point.  After the break the announcer guy tells us that we were all free to go, and then goes "Wait!  I think we have one more trial!" which was quite annoying.  I was pretty certain they would call my number since I was juror 312, and they were getting close to the 200's.  I caught a very close break when the last trial ended at number 299.  Then they called a roll call of the people that were still there, and we were told we could leave.  I was relieved  that I hadn't been picked, because the time for the last trial didn't start till 1pm, and the people that were there had to wait until then to go up to the court room.  

I left the parking garage and encounter some rude driver who came the wrong gate and proceeded to jump in the turning lane in front of me.  After the whole getting up early, dealing with everything I'd decided that I deserved to treat myself, and stopped to get myself a burger because I was hungry.  I was so glad to be home after that was over. I really hate getting picked for jury duty.  My anxiety goes into overdrive, and I just want to get the fuck outta there.  
 
 
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: ヤプーズ - 赤い戦車
 
 
illusionismine
14 January 2017 @ 11:21 pm
 

So I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing me talk about games lately, but I just got a new console so I'm very excited XD!  So here's a picture of everything I have so far.  I've gotten a chance to play 2 of the 3 games you see here, and I love them both!  I played Tomb Raider first which was very exciting, and has really nice visual effects.  Then I played a few other free games from the Playstation store.  

Getting a subscription for Playstation Now made me realize how expensive it can be for someone who's hardcore into gaming.  Needless to say I cancelled my subscription to Playstation Now because I figured it wasn't worth it for what I wanted to get out of my gaming experience.  For now I'll just buy the physical copies of games I want and leave it at that.  I have 2 more games that I ordered coming in probably next week.  I finally broke down and bough FFXV because the demo was super fun, and Dragonball Z Xenoverse cause I'm a huge fan of the series.  I really like the whole open world environments on FFXV.  It really enhances the overall playing experience.  I will acknowledge that the plot is non-existent, or rather not clear if you haven't seen the movie/anime adaptation, but it's still an enjoyable game to play nonetheless.  

After that I played Uncharted 4, and it looks amazing!  Half the time I can't tell whats part of the cinematic, and what's the game because everything looks so nice.  To give you an idea of how it looks here's a gif.  Read more...Collapse )
Other than gaming my parents had a new alarm system installed today, and it's very good.  We can operate it from our smart phones, which is something that is becoming more common place nowadays.

For the most part I've been enjoying my vacation from work, and playing video games mostly.  It feels good to be able to rest, and breath for a while without being stressed out like crazy.  Gaming has also been distracting me from thinking about politics which is a good thing considering all the craziness that's been going on lately.  Maybe I'm at the point where I have some sort of cognitive dissonance about how fucked up everything thing seems now.  I'm not sure, but for my sanity I'm trying not to focus on the negative.   I will try to make a post that's not about video games in the future. lol.  


 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
illusionismine
 This week has been okay for the most part with only 1 exception.  I ended up (sort of) getting scammed on ebay after seeing a refurbished PS4 for about $20.  Now you would think my common sense would kick in and tell me "If it's too good to be true it probably is", but nope.  Somehow I wasn't thinking clearly and I hit the buy button.  Now the good news is paypal is refunding me my money for this transaction, and ebay happened to have caught it was a scam rather quickly.  They emailed me and notified me that they felt like that account had been run by a third party account, and they took the item off their site.  I'm not sure why I did it in the first place, but you live and you learn.  

I decided to go with a newer bundle on amazon and used a $100 gift card to get a bit of a discount from them.  So I guess the problem was solved, and I ended up ordering a brand new bundle for about $269 minus the gift card which ended up being a decent price.  It's the bundle with Uncharted 4 on it.  I watched a youtube gamer do a play-through of that game and the graphics are really beautiful.  

That debacle aside, I'm on vacation from work this week, and I plan on doing as little as possible xD!  I found a decent copy of FFVII, and that came in the mail today so I plan on playing lots of video games.  

Aside from usual gaming stuff I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately.  My allergies have been bothering me so I ended up taking meds for that today.  My dad ended up getting stung by a bee this morning, but he didn't tell me or my mom until my mom came back home from taking my grandma to the doctor.  He doesn't tell us anything, which can be annoying.  Something like that could have been more serious, and I wish he would have told me instead of not saying anything.  He's always been that way though.

As for me I've been doing well mentally.  I've been reading a book called "The Huntress" by Malinda Lo, and it's rather interesting.  I've had it on my kindle for a while now, but I just got around to actually reading it.  It's really good, and I really like most of the characters so far.  Anyway that's all for me.  

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Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
illusionismine
25 December 2016 @ 10:38 am
 
(lol this gif is awesome xD!)  

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it.  My Christmas has been pretty good so far.  I hope everyone else enjoys spending time with family and friends.  I'll post an after Christmas post later. :) 
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Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold - Hail to the King
 
 
 
illusionismine
18 December 2016 @ 05:07 pm
 This weekend was honestly really stressful.  At work last Friday we had a Christmas Party, and exchanged Secret Santa gifts.  Apparently my Secret Santa didn't like her gift, and responded with "That's it?"  when she saw the gifts I'd bought her.  I always thought Christmas was supposed to be less about the gift, and more about the thought of giving, but apparently that was lost on this person.  Needless to say I had a lot going on last week.  My nephew's murder trial was last week, and I was stressed about that.  I also had another family member on my mother's side pass away recently.  I think because of that I got really emotional when I found out she didn't like the gift, and I cried.  I cried for about 30 minutes, and I was still at work so I was more frustrated with myself because I couldn't stop crying.  My sister saw how upset I was, and asked if she'd said anything to upset me.  

I told her it wasn't her, but what that other woman said about my gift.  I just couldn't believe that someone could be so thoughtless, and dismissive of someone's feelings to say what she said about her gift, even though I really tried to get her something nice.  I was so pissed/frustrated/angry and I guess my emotions just spilled over.  This incident has made me decide to not extend my kindness to people who aren't kind to me.  I'm so tired of being nice to people, and literally getting shit on.  Part of my depression has to do with me being bullied throughout school, and I can't stand people who treat other people horribly.  I probably won't even do the whole secret Santa thing again because of this situation.

     I did hear from a coworker that people on night shift got the same thing from some of their Secret Santa's and have talked about not participating next year.  Why are people so shitty?  I swear some people make me want to live in complete seclusion from the rest of civilization.  People mistake my kindness for weakness.  I've always been a very sensitive, considerate, and caring person and it's caused people to think they can walk all over me.  Well that will not ever happen again I can assure you. 

My blood pressure was really up yesterday and I think it had to do with that situation.  I took the day off work today to try to feel better.  I slept most of the day because I was tired.  My mom mentioned that I didn't look well so I'm glad I took the day off.  Also it was really cold this morning.  I believe it was 19 Degrees which is pretty cold for Texas.  Well that's all for now. 
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Asylum Party - Play Alone
 
 
illusionismine
09 December 2016 @ 07:53 pm
 So there's been this really strange girl at my job that I think is obsessed with me.  First of all this has been going on for a few months.  I initially just brushed it off, but It looks like I'll have to confront her.  The other day when I was eating lunch she sat at my table.  I didn't really care because I was looking at my phone, and minding my own business.  She says hi to me, and I tell her hi back then the next thing I know she's moving to another table.  She keeps playing these weird mind games with me, and it's really getting on my nerves.  

I've also noticed that she's started taking her breaks and lunches at the same time as me recently.  One time while I was heating up my food in the microwave she looked me up and down in a manner that made me incredibly uncomfortable.  We've never actually had a conversation, and I'm not sure why she keeps doing random weird shit to get my attention, but it's mostly just annoying the crap out of me.  I've heard her ask other people about me, and she got annoyed when I told her "I don't really talk that much", which is actually true.  To be honest I was just put off by her, and I guess I subconsciously got bad vibes about her initially.   I'm not sure what hear deal is, but for now I'm going to just try to ignore her unless she gets out of hand.  Then I'll confront her, and I won't be so nice anymore.  

Jim Morrison was definitely right about people being strange.  

Also this situation reminds me of this song a bit.  The backstory about this song is that the band's manager was apparently obsessed with Siouxsie to the point to where it was rather creepy.  She wrote this song about the situation from the stalker's POV.  

 
 
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Public Image ltd - Religion 2
 
 
illusionismine
05 December 2016 @ 09:56 am
I've been wanting to do one of these posts for a while. So I figured I'd post about some of my current favorite modern Gothic rock, and Post-punk bands. Most people in the scene know about the older bands so I figured I talk about the more modern bands that I enjoy. I will mention that some of these bands range from Gothic Rock, to Coldwave, to post-punk, and all of the various other sub-genres in the Gothic scene. I also posted pictures of the bands in case you guys are visual people like myself.

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Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Creative Adult - I Can Love
 
 
illusionismine
09 November 2016 @ 12:14 pm
 Honestly I have no words for what happened in America last night.  I think America has shown it's true colors.  Donald Trump represents an aspect of America that no one wants to talk about, and address.  The fact that so many people in this country are so filled with hate is sad, and frustrating.  My heart mourns for what this country could have been if people had not been so blinded by hate.  My heart goes out to all my fellow POC, women, minorities, LGBTQ people, and everyone else that will inevitably suffer the most from this.  We are strong, and we will get through this. 
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
illusionismine
30 October 2016 @ 01:58 pm
This week has been somewhat stressful. I got a flat tire yesterday morning, and now I have to go buy a new tire cause it's pretty much ruined. It was early in the morning, and I was driving to work but I guess I wasn't really paying attention and I hit a curve. I damaged one of the rims on my car a little, but I'm going tomorrow to the tire place to price a new tire, and see if they can fix the rim. Either way I'm more frustrated with myself than anything cause my car is new, and why the hell was I not paying attention?!? Anyway when you're an adult fuckups cost money so yeah. I'm willing to pay the price for this situation.

As for other things I bought 2 things from the sale Killstar is having for Halloween. I ordered this necklace, and these fingerless gloves. I also got my order that I ordered the other day of a Siouxsie and the Banshees backpatch I ordered for my denim vest. I still need to sew it on along with a Birthday Massacre patch I ordered a while back. I'll be sure to post pictures whenever I finish the vest. I still have a few things I need to add to it.

That aside everything's been okay. Halloween is tomorrow, and I don't really have any plans besides getting cozy in my room and watching a few horror movies. I ordered a Five Nights at Freddy's figurine set for my friend for her Christmas gift. She's a huge fan of the series so I figured it would be a perfect gift. Speaking of early Christmas gifts my friend bought me this book on hardback, and it looks super cool. It's "American Gods", and "Anasi Boys" by Neil Gaimen. My friend is an avid reader like myself so this was an awesome early Xmas present from her. :D
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Current Mood: calmcalm